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O C T O B E R · I 8 9 7 the stories. He would press his sides, stamp his feet, and scream with laughter. I took down a few of his stories which I here record ''Its a mighty hard thing to make a good Christian out of a hungry man.'' ''The colored men down south are very fond of an old song entitled 'Give me Jesus and you take all the rest.' The white man has taken him at his word.'' ''A white man once asked a negro to loan him 3 cents to get across the river. The colored man replied 'Boss, I knows yous a white man, and Boss I knows yous got moah sense den dis yeah niggah. But Boss I sent goin to lend you no three cents. Boss you say you haint got no money. Well Boss a man whets got no money is as well off on one side of the river as on de other . . .' '' ''Weve got a few black sheep in our flock.'' ''A negro was once heard to say, 'Oh Lod, de sun am so hot, and de ground am so hard, and de sun am so hot, I beleive dis heah darky am called to preach.' '' ''A friend of mine who went to Liberia to study conditions once came upon a negro shut up with-in a hove] reading Cicero's orations. That was all right. The negro has as much right to read Cicero's orations in Africa as a white man does in America. But the trouble with the colored man was that he had on no pants. I want a tailor shop first so that the negro can sit down and read Cicero's orations like a gentleman with his pants on.'' ''I can't tell the exact day or place of my birth. But I have fairly conclusive evidence that I was born, some-time and some-where.'' ''There seems to be a sort of sympathy between the negro and a mule. Wherever you find a negro you are very apt to find a mule some-where about. I feel somewhat lonesome tonight. A colored man was once asked how many there were in the family. He replied, 'Five of us. My-self, my brother and three mules.' '' ''We were the only race that came here by special invitation. Your race came over here against the protest of the leading citizens. We were so important to your interest that you had to send for us at a great cost and inconvenience. Now that we have been brought here at so much cost, it would be very ungrateful for us not to oblige you by staying here.'' ''A slave was once called up before his master who thus addressed him 'Bill your soul belongs to God and your body belongs to me.' 3